What’s In A (Last) Name?

Hey Readers!

Now that I’m engaged, the fun and the planning of this wedding have (slowly) begun. There are so many little moving parts to this shindig that we have to consider.  There’s the venue, the invitee list, the decor, the dress, but there is also one matter that nags at me from time to time: my name. My last name to be exact. For some brides-to-be, this is a no-brainer solution, but for others, it’s one to be considered carefully. Would I want to change my last name or should I just keep it as it is?

When I was younger, there was no doubt in my mind that I would keep it as it was. Why change what was perfect? As I grew up, I had begun to flip-flop with the notion of changing my name. Why not be know as Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Smith? Of course, I turned to my friends for guidance.  Just about all of my friends are married, or have been married, and they were a wealth on knowledge and opinions.  They were also split down the middle between Team Change or Team Keep It. Here are the reasons they gave me on both sides of the situation.

Team Change

  1. Spirituality – The union of marriage unites two people, making them a singular unit. Since you are now “one,” why not complete our union by sharing a last name.
  2. Tradition – This is how some people were brought up, and they want to carry on this tradition of taking the name of their partner.  It also ties in nicely to my first point in this section. I have heard of both women and men changing their names to become a family unit.
  3. Confusion – Oh, the explaining I would have to go through when people ask why I didn’t take my other half’s last name! No one will be able to call us “The Smiths” or “Mrs. Smith” because, quite literally, I wouldn’t be! I would also have to be constantly correcting people when, with the family, I am refered to as “Mrs. Smith”

 

Team Keep It

  1. Professional – If I have done work under one name, then it may become a bit confusing to those following you if I changed my name.  I could change it legally, but professionally, it may just be easier to keep it as it is.
  2. Financial – It costs money to have my name. I’m not a cheap person, but I would have a lot amount of documentation  to change to be known as Mrs. So-And-So. I know, it takes away form the romance and the family unity, but it is not an overnight change, either.
  3. Identity – Why should have to change my last name to become a family? Does changing my name automatically bond us together as a family? No, so then why make this change?

After mulling over all of the points of view my friends had on this subject, I made a decision. I will be keeping my last name. What made me decide to keep my last name the same? It had to do with the identity factor. I just could not see myself being called by anything else than my last name. I tried hearing what my last name would be if I changed it, and it just didn’t sound right in my ears. As well, I just wouldn’t feel like me with any other last name. As much as I do like keeping certain traditions, but not this one. Besides, with my mindset, my last name suits my somewhat stubborn nature, lending more support to Team Keep It side of the question at hand.

Now that one of the million of decisions has been made about this wedding, it can be crossed off of the “Wedding To-Do” list. Whew!  😛

Would you change your last name? What helped you make this decision?

Until my next post, Readers!

Reese

I’m Engaged! Now What…?

Hey Readers!

I’m engaged! It’s an experience that I thought I would never have. It’s not as if I do not think that I am worthy of being proposed to by someone (actually, I think I’m priceless!), but I just never saw myself as getting engaged.

 

Reese Speaks Engagement Ring Photo 6-22-2016

No, this is not my engagement ring. It is my 21st B-Day ring and it volunteered to stand in for this pic.

 

 

Most girls have the “Wedding Day” fantasy. You know, donning the white gown, the big ceremony with your family and friends looking on as you glide down the aisle towards your groom. That wasn’t mine at all. I saw myself as being a take-charge type of woman who wore fancy suits and lived in a condo with a cute little dog. I thought I would live vicariously through my siblings, being “Cool Auntie Reese,” spoiling my nieces and nephews whenever I would see them. What about having a man in my life? Well, they would be present, but marriage was never really a wish I had for myself.

Boy, has my life turned out differently! I now have three kids of my own, no fancy condo (I’m kind of happy about that), and no small dog (hopefully, we will have one soon). I’ve changed, and so have the dreams and aspirations I want for my life. This whole “engagement” status is still foreign to me. I’m from a family where weddings are the norm, so for me, being engaged is a whole new concept.

How did it happen? It came out of nowhere. After getting home from a quasi Date Night with my other half, he took me downstairs to our basement and went over to our desk and opened one of the drawers.   He then took out a box that held two smaller boxes. I asked him what was going on, wondering what was going on, and he seemed a little nervous. Now, before you think that this is a great killing scene from a murder-mystery novel, he got down on one knee, surprising the hell out of me, and proposed. After a lot of babbling on my part (surprise, surprise), I said yes! No, Readers, there was no engagement ring in either of the boxes, either, but two rings. Wedding bands to be exact. They are unlike any rings I have ever seen, and I can’t wait to wear them!

Wait, so you’re probably asking why there’s no engagement ring? The answer is simple.  I told my guy I didn’t want one because I feel as though my other half should also have to wear a similar type ring on his finger.  He was not keen on wearing an engagement ring. Don’t get me wrong, I think that engagement rings are gorgeous, and, if I were to wear one, I know what kind I would want to have, but for me, having a ring is not necessary in order to become engaged.

Okay, Readers! The question has been “popped” and accepted. Great! Okay, where do we go from here? The next general steps would be to set a date and get our plans for this shindig rolling! From past experience of being in charge of event planning for my previous employer, I know that there will be a lot of tasks to get through to making sure this special day goes off well. Luckily, I have many friends who have been through weddings and are event planners, so I have a vast wealth on knowledge to turn to if I need advice or help.

Maybe it is because my other half and I have started our life together and our family is, well, complete baby-wise, that I am not starry-eyed about starting this next chapter in our relationship. I am tickled pink that we are getting married, but I guess it is because a mystery of what it would be like to be living with someone and starting a family together is no longer a mystery is why I am not starry-eyed about being engaged. That is why I am saying, besides planning a wedding, what else is there? This is the one thing that I can’t really go to anyone for advice since I don’t know anyone who has been in my situation. I guess I will just sit back and bask in the glow of this special time in my life!

Here’s to getting engaged!

Until my next post, Readers!

Reese