Now that I’m engaged, the fun and the planning of this wedding have (slowly) begun. There are so many little moving parts to this shindig that we have to consider. There’s the venue, the invitee list, the decor, the dress, but there is also one matter that nags at me from time to time: my name. My last name to be exact. For some brides-to-be, this is a no-brainer solution, but for others, it’s one to be considered carefully. Would I want to change my last name or should I just keep it as it is?
When I was younger, there was no doubt in my mind that I would keep it as it was. Why change what was perfect? As I grew up, I had begun to flip-flop with the notion of changing my name. Why not be know as Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Smith? Of course, I turned to my friends for guidance. Just about all of my friends are married, or have been married, and they were a wealth on knowledge and opinions. They were also split down the middle between Team Change or Team Keep It. Here are the reasons they gave me on both sides of the situation.
- Spirituality – The union of marriage unites two people, making them a singular unit. Since you are now “one,” why not complete our union by sharing a last name.
- Tradition – This is how some people were brought up, and they want to carry on this tradition of taking the name of their partner. It also ties in nicely to my first point in this section. I have heard of both women and men changing their names to become a family unit.
- Confusion – Oh, the explaining I would have to go through when people ask why I didn’t take my other half’s last name! No one will be able to call us “The Smiths” or “Mrs. Smith” because, quite literally, I wouldn’t be! I would also have to be constantly correcting people when, with the family, I am refered to as “Mrs. Smith”
Team Keep It
- Professional – If I have done work under one name, then it may become a bit confusing to those following you if I changed my name. I could change it legally, but professionally, it may just be easier to keep it as it is.
- Financial – It costs money to have my name. I’m not a cheap person, but I would have a lot amount of documentation to change to be known as Mrs. So-And-So. I know, it takes away form the romance and the family unity, but it is not an overnight change, either.
- Identity – Why should have to change my last name to become a family? Does changing my name automatically bond us together as a family? No, so then why make this change?
After mulling over all of the points of view my friends had on this subject, I made a decision. I will be keeping my last name. What made me decide to keep my last name the same? It had to do with the identity factor. I just could not see myself being called by anything else than my last name. I tried hearing what my last name would be if I changed it, and it just didn’t sound right in my ears. As well, I just wouldn’t feel like me with any other last name. As much as I do like keeping certain traditions, but not this one. Besides, with my mindset, my last name suits my somewhat stubborn nature, lending more support to Team Keep It side of the question at hand.
Now that one of the million of decisions has been made about this wedding, it can be crossed off of the “Wedding To-Do” list. Whew! 😛
Would you change your last name? What helped you make this decision?
Until my next post, Readers!